Saturday, July 31
So I know I tend to talk a lot, and ramble, and am really really bad at telling stories, but I want to make it clear that there is a reason for it, however half-assed: I'm trying to make sure stuff comes out clearer than the way it goes in my head.
For instance, here is the in-my-head version of an amusing event.
Ahem.
So Ann was super psyched on this steak and posted about it and her salad on facebook, which turned out to be kinda unfortunate 'cause then peeps got all self-righteous on her ass about carnivore flatulence and stinky poo and how nobody needs to eat that much protien which is totally lame, so Ann got all moderator on them and was like "Delete, bitches! Get yo negativity offa my wall!" and put the smack down on their smack talk.
Ann is so cool, right?!
Doesn't make any kind of sense, right?
It's going to stay that way, too, 'cause now I'm going to sleep.
I should not be allowed access to the Internet after midnight. Just saying.
Posted by:Heather
Saturday, June 26The year of the baby
My little sister, Cedar, and I have always tried to be contrary to one another in each and every way possible. We're both blondes, so I dyed my hair black. I determinedly erased my accent, she embraced hers. I love boring office jobs, she loves working in honky tonks. Suffice it to say, we do things a little differently. Even when we both ended up having emergency c-sections, we did it in very different ways!
I had 42 hours of intense labor and developed a dangerous infection.
-She developed pre-eclampsia and never had a single contraction.
I had my baby two weeks late.
-She had her baby a month early.
I had a boy, Havoc.
-She had a girl, Raine.
I had a big baby, 8 pounds, 12 ounces.
-She had a tiny baby, 5 pounds, 10 ounces.
All comparisons aside, we were all really worried about Cedar and little Raine Pare'. Pre-eclampsia is scary stuff, but my little sister is one tough broad, and mother and baby are both doing very well now, and will hopefully be going home today or tomorrow. My parents are very happy grandparents now to both a little boy and a little girl, and we're all looking forward to seeing the little ones grow up together!
Congratulations, Cedar and Philip, she's absolutely beautiful!
Posted by:Heather
Wednesday, June 02Potty mouth
A while back (while standing in the diaper aisle at HEB), I decided to go ahead and try out cloth diapering. After all, I got a bunch of cloth diapers at the baby shower, why not use 'em? So, I ordered some covers from Amazon.com and mentally prepared myself.
I learned several things in that first day; cloth diapers aren't as forgiving as disposables. You really have to stay on top of the changing thing, or you end up with wet spots on the couch (or, as was my case, your t-shirt) and damp diaper covers. It is goddamn hard to find newborn sized cloth diapers in Austin, and I'm not patient enough to not cut them to fit, which means I will be needing all new ones when he gets too big for the modified ones. Baby poo is no more and no less gross in a cloth diaper, but somehow is actually less smelly.
Most importantly, though, at least for the point of this entry, is that babies (or at least my baby)
hate being wet. Hate hate hate. Havoc was having fits every time he peed, and let me tell you, that kid pees
a lot.
Why is that the most important part? Well, while looking up info on cloth diapers, I came across an article on infant potty training. The article talked about how much babies hate being wet, and that with a little patience, a parent can learn the baby's "potty cues", and can get the baby on a potty in time to avoid the baby going in his or her diaper.
I decided to give it a roll. I bought a little kid potty and told myself that if nothing else, it would be interesting.
It fucking works.
I swear to you, the first time Havoc peed in his potty, I could not believe it. I thought it was a fluke; I mean, he pees all over the place sometimes when you change his diaper. But by the end of the first day, he had peed in his little potty three times. The next day, he peed six times. The third day, he pooped, too.
Now it's been over two weeks. He averages thirteen pees a day and two poops. We average six dirty diapers, whereas before we were using around fifteen or more, and these are cloth as opposed to disposable. Generally he only has "accidents" when he's napping, and let's face it, most of us didn't master not wetting the bed until we were four or five, so I'm not going to hold it against my seven week old that he hasn't gotten it down yet.
He really does just tell us when he needs to go, he has very specific cues, noises, faces, motions. We haven't got it perfected yet, he's still teaching me to pay attention, but we're working it out. I've realized that it's less about me potty training him than it is him training me to get him to his potty.
It is a lot of work; since he isn't exactly mobile, I have to be at his beck and call for maximum effectiveness. The way I see it, though, is that it's not much more work than changing a diaper every time he goes, this way I simply don't have an excuse to let him sit in a dirty or wet diaper until I'm ready to bother with it. It keeps me from being a lazy mom.
It sounds totally insane, but he's so much happier for it! Tim and I are so proud of our little man. He's seven weeks old, people.
Seven weeks.
My kid is the coolest kid ever.
Posted by:Heather
Monday, May 31
Take a perfectly seasoned hamburger. Grill it on a cast iron griddle. Grill the bun. Add all of your favorite fixin's; in my case, mayo, mustard, ketchup, pickles, bacon.
Then add an absurdly heaping serving of mac and cheese.
OH MY DEAR SWEET LORD.
(Look how incredibly happy Rob is... remember when I said he was displaying
male bliss with cold beer and a hot chick's ass? Yeah, this was better.)
Yes, I understand that it sounds kind of weird, possibly even gross. But I swear to you, it is the single best thing you will ever put in your mouth.
(You will only be capable of making the obvious inappropriate jokes about that statement until the moment you eat one of these things; after that, it becomes sacred and holy. I'm so serious.)
Posted by:Heather
Photardery 
